Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Falling into Place

"I am confident of this,
that the one who began a good work in you
will continue to complete it
until the day of Christ Jesus."
Philippians 1:6

It's funny how life simply falls into place. When I first travelled to Namibia over two years ago, I was in it for the adventure and exploration of a new land. I remember thinking this is a "once-in-a-lifetime" experience, and I'm going to take full advantage of every opportunity. It was an insanely fun time, and by the end of our two weeks, I didn't want to leave -- imagine that! I was certainly going to miss sleeping on the ground, not showering for days, sweating in 100 degree desert heat, the huge African bugs that graced us with their presence, having little access to electricity, running water, or western toilets... Ok, so maybe it was nice to have the comforts of home again. But despite all of this, I simply have not been able to get Africa out of my mind or off my heart since that first trip. I knew I had to go back. I knew I had to make it happen. I knew that I had fallen in love with Africa. 

That's when I had the opportunity to go back! Dream come true! I fell in love all over again with the people, the children, the community, the land, the culture, the music, and the simple way of life. I was done for. I'm pretty sure I left part of my heart in Africa, and I've been longing to return ever since.  

Now, to get back to my original statement of life falling into place. I applied for the Peace Corps shortly after returning from my second trip to Namibia, hoping above anything to be an education volunteer in Africa. I was overflowing with a love for Africa, clearly God's way of working in my heart. Above all, I long to serve God, to be His hands and feet, to trust in His provision, and to walk with Him all the days of my life. If He was calling me to serve Him in Africa, then together we would make that happen. Which is why, when I received my invitation with the PC to be an secondary math teacher in Africa, it nearly broke my heart to decline. It felt like I was saying no to God, turning down His plan for my life, going against the path He was leading me down. This is when I was reminded of the true power of trust in the Lord. 

"Trust the Lord with all your heart,
on your own intelligence rely not;
In all your ways be mindful of him,
and he will make straight you paths." 
Proverbs 3: 5-6

As cliche as this is going to sound, when God closes one door, He will open a window for you. The same day that I made the decision to decline my invitation, I happened to stumble across the WorldTeach website. I applied that night for Tanzania. Within one week I had my interview. Within two weeks I was accepted. And with only two months to prepare, pack, fundraise, and learn Swahili, I'll be off to Africa to volunteer as a teacher.

Some days I think this is crazy! But then I am reminded that this is truly the work that God has started in my heart, and He will see it through to completion. Sometimes I need a glaring neon sign to reminded of this. Sometimes I want to be in control of my life. Sometimes I wish I wasn't going back to the bugs, the heat, the lack of modern amenities. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own world that I forget that it is ultimately for Him that I am living. Sometimes I am scared of how far He is calling me to go. These are the times when I need to step back, refocus, and remember there is no need for doubt, for He will provide all that I need. Sometimes, it takes a good cup of coffee on a warm, peaceful Tuesday morning in July, to be reminded that I am nothing without the Lord.