Unajua wewe ni poreni wakati...

You know you’re in the bush when…

…you have to climb to the top of the hill by your house in order to make a phone call home. Then your phone dies because there is no electricity in the bush, and you can’t even say goodbye to your parents! Or make any other phone calls. Pole sana!

…you are woken up from your afternoon nap by your screaming roommate because two lizards fell on her while taking her bucket bath.

…you are greeted by a bat hanging on your front door when you get home from school. That’s certainly sketchy, and was I concerned about the possibility of rabies? Oh yes. But is there an alternative entrance to your house? Nope.

...a giant stick insect falls in your lap while watching your weekly movie in the dark. Not cool. I almost knocked my computer off the bed.

…the highlight of the week is being able to wash your hands at your house for the first time! We finally found someone in Rulenge who was able to fasten a tap into a bucket, so now we have running water! Revolutionary!

…you have a serious conversation  with your headmaster about a fellow teacher’s apparent involvement with the local witch doctor.

…a pickup truck from 1967 stops as you are walking to town and offers you a ride in the back end. Considering there is a maximum of 8 vehicles that ever travel on this rode each day, you have to take what you get. Otherwise you’ll be walking for the next hour before turning around and walking home for another hour and half.

…the days all blend together, and when your roommate asks what happened on Monday, but you literally can’t remember. It’s only Thursday.

…you spend at least 7 hours sitting in a red plastic deck chair every day. Because the only alternative is the squatting position, which my legs can only handle for so long after washing dishes and making dinner like that.  

…you are informed that no one wants to visit your house because the front yard area isn’t presentable. To be honest, the grass, rocks and dirt look the same to me everyday, but I’ll be grateful for the girls who came and swept the dirt and cut the grass by hand.

...you can’t go to the bathroom without wearing your raincoat, because it’s raining so hard and you’ll be soaked otherwise.

…it takes an hour to scramble eggs for dinner on your charcoal jiko.

…a huge bull cow with at least 3 foot horns runs right at you on your piki piki on the way to school.

…and finally, unajua wewe ni poreni wakati you have an overwhelming need to tell everyone about life in the bush.