It's a Love-Hate Relationship

Things are going to get real this week. When I say I have a “Love-Hate” relationship with my life here in Tanzania, I really mean that in the most literal sense. Utmost honesty is my approach today:

I hate that my computer is going to die in 25 minutes

I hate that I don’t have access to an electrical outlet in a 3-hour radius of my house

I hate that communication is limited by my lack of Swahili knowledge

I hate that I wash my hair in a bucket once in seven days

I hate that I eat 4 pounds of tomatoes every week

I hate that I cook every meal on charcoal

I hate that 500 bats live in my house

I hate that I poop in a hole

I hate the layer of dirt that covers my body all day, every day

I hate that when I try to sleep at night, every flying bug harasses me always

I hate that my phone has a mind of its own and only gets service when it feels like it

I hate that when I take a taxi, I have to sit in the back seat with 4 other grown men 

I hate that I haven’t been able to go to a church service in a language I understand in the past 6 months

I hate wearing skirts to my ankles every day

I hate. I hate. I hate.

There’s a lot of hate in my life these days, clearly.

But the good news is that I think there’s even more love.

I love my ride to and from school everyday; 

I’ve never seen land so beautiful and untouched

I love my students;

every last one of them

I love teaching mathematics;

yes, even how to do logarithms by hand

I love when my students get the answers right;

even though it’s seldom

I love even when they get the answers wrong;

it means that they tried

I love the ridiculously loud, enthusiastic “Good MORNING Madam” from my Form 2 class; 

it brings a smile to my face every time

I love teaching my Form 1 class the very basics of English, and then waiting for their young minds to churn long enough, until finally, one student raises their hand; at least someone understands

I love all 75 of my Form 4’s; even though they might not be able to derive the general equation of line, they sit politely and listen to every word I say

I love how my students’ faces light up when I talk about my life in America; 

pure, simple, eager enjoyment

I love drinking hot milk tea; highlight of every school day 

(I want a cow when I get back to WI, so I can have fresh milk to boil everyday)

I love brushing my teeth under the stars;

perfect time to gaze up and wonder about what can be

I love having time to relax after school;

with no agenda, I can do what I please

I love walking to the market on Saturday mornings; 

I can marvel at the beauty of God’s creation for an hour and a half

I love getting mail; 

the few times that I’ve actually received anything have been better than Christmas morning

I love my newfound appreciation for the little things in life; 

like the joys of eating a fresh passion fruit or finishing another book of the Old Testament

I love the simplicity of life here;

nothing more, nothing less.

<3 <3 <3